That Damn Checklist
The world hands you a life checklist like it’s a universal remote. Graduate
on time. Get a respectable job. Buy tasteful khakis. Retire with a diamond. Have 2.5 kids and a dog. I’ve missed almost every box and I’m proud of it.
There is no universal timeline. You’re not behind. You’re just on yours.
Off the Career Map
College at 31. Random jobs in between. Winding paths instead of straight lines. While friends checked off milestones, I took detours that actually made sense for me. When I finally walked across that stage, it wasn’t “late.” It was right on time for me.
There is no universal timeline. You’re not behind. You’re just on yours
Wearing What Feels Like Me
I don’t look “age appropriate.” My closet looks like a paint fight, I wear my nose ring proudly, and half my hair is grey. None of this is rebellion—it’s me showing up in a body I finally feel at home in.
My style isn’t rebellion. It’s a love letter to the person I’ve fought to become.
What Success Actually Looks Like
- Joy over titles: Music festival roots remind me that joy > status.
- Alignment over deadlines: A degree earned on my terms meant more than a perfect timeline ever could.
- Sustainability over burnout: Flexible gigs let me breathe, live, and keep my energy intact.
edefining success is radical. It’s choosing joy, alignment, and sustainability over someone else’s yardstick
What’s Actually Helped Me
Breaking free wasn’t a one-time leap. It’s a lot of tiny, brave choices:
- See your quirks as treasures, not flaws.
- Stop worrying about being “behind.”
- Express yourself, loudly or quietly.
- Find people who get it.
- Say no to what drains you.
- Rest like it’s a right, not a reward.
- Celebrate small wins—they add up.
Each small act adds up to a bigger shift toward authenticity
Patchwork, Not Perfect
From the outside, my story looks patchwork. On the inside, it’s joy, honesty, and a life that finally feels like mine. You don’t have to check their boxes. Just live in a way that belongs to you.
our life doesn’t have to look tidy to be yours.
Wrapping It Together
The truth is, I’m not interested in proving I can keep up with someone else’s script. The checklist and the timeline were never mine, and honestly? I’m better for it.
So if your life looks like scribbles instead of bullet points—good. You’re not behind, you’re just writing a different story.
Checklist failed. Life won.
You can be both wildly yourself and deeply enough, just as you are.
Society's checklist isn't yours.
About Katy
Katy Welborn is a late-diagnosed autistic writer, coach, solopreneur, and proud forger of her own trail living in East Tennessee. She grew up between music festivals and a small Appalachian town, learning early that life rarely fits into neat boxes. Katy writes about neurodivergent life, gentle self-care, and the messy journey to self-acceptance. Through Gentle Nook, she creates space for others navigating their own unconventional paths—one honest story at a time.
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